Aussie Food Cravings in Scotland (Letter to the Care Package Fairy)

G’day Australian Care Package Fairy

Subject: Aussie Food Cravings

Dear Care Package Fairy,

It’s been more than 3 years since we traded in our thongs (flip-flops) and sunnies (sunglasses) to move to Glasgow, Scotland. We’ve had a fair suck of the sav (given it a good go) but find we have a few cravings.

Don’t get us wrong. It was a ripper (great) decision. We love it here, and they don’t mind us Aussies. We’re even getting used to the local lingo (slang).

But, we gotta say, we don’t miss the bloody spiders, the stinking heat or the dust storms.

There are a few things we wish we could’ve brought with us or could get over here. That’s why we’re writing to you, the Care Package Fairy.

Aussie Food Cravings – Shopping List

Care Package Fairy, here’s that shopping list we were talking about – to satisfy some of our cravings.

Fruit and Vegies

• Japanese (Kent) Pumpkin (or Queensland Blue, if that’s all you can find)
• Aussie mangoes
• Aussie pineapple
• Aussie pawpaw (papaya)

Meat

• Thick, tender, juicy steaks – scotch fillet or rump will do nicely – that you don’t have to sell your left kidney for.
• Aussie bacon – nice and thick, properly dry-cured, and doesn’t feel or look like raw meat.

Dairy

• Mainland Vintage Cheese – 24 mths, 36 mths when it’s available. (Yes, we know it’s Kiwi, but it’s so delicious).
• Bornhoffen Acidophilus Natural yoghurt

Personal

• Eureka Lavender Oil – the 100ml bottle that lasts about a year.
• Lucas’ Pawpaw Ointment – a tub for the bathroom and a tube for the handbag.

Pantry

• Milo – the largest tin they make. Pop into Costco for the 2kg size.
• Masterfoods BBQ sauce – not the smoky type; that’s all we can find here.
• Holbrooks Worcestershire sauce
• Sanitarium Weetbix – with bran balls, please.
• Macadamia oil – cold-pressed, of course.
• Ayam Satay sauce – in the tin, the hot one. Mild is for pussies.
• Bickford’s Lime Cordial
• Bickford’s Lemon, Lime and Bitters Cordial

Snacks

• Nobby’s Beer Nuts – we miss nibbling them.
• Nobby’s Salted Macadamia nuts
• Buderim Ginger pieces – coated in dark chocolate.
• Angus Park dried apricot halves – not Turkish; they’re not tangy enough.
• Cheese Twisties
• Samboy BBQ chips
• Samboy Salt and Vinegar chips
• BBQ Shapes
• Chicken Drumstix
• Nestle Chokitos – to ‘get us going’.
• Violent Rumbles (Violet Crumbles)
• Cherry Ripes
• Cadbury Snack and Top Deck chocolate
• Tim Tams – regular and double-coated dark chocolate.
• Scotch-Finger biscuits
• Mint Slice biscuits
• Pavlova – fresh cream, passionfruit, strawberries and Kiwi fruit on top, please.
• Lamington fingers
• Fruit cake – that’s so heavy you can use it as a doorstop.
• Allen’s Chico Babies – chewy, choc-flavoured jelly babies.
• Allen’s Snakes – throw in a python or two.
• Natural Company jelly babies and dinosaurs
• Frosty Fruit ice-blocks
• Sunny Boy Cola triangles
• Chocolate Paddle Pops
• Golden Gaytimes

Takeaway Food

• BBQ chicken – rotisserie style, cooked over charcoals if you can.
• Chips with chicken salt
• Pineapple and banana fritters
• Yatala beef steak pies in flaky puff pastry
• Yatala apple pies in crunchy shortbread pastry – with fresh whipped cream.
• Frozen Coke from Maccas (McDonald’s or Mackie Dees)
• The original, proper-tasting KFC – the stuff over here tastes funny.

If you could roll that all up in a swag (things in a blanket in a tarpaulin) and send it across, it’d be much appreciated.

Hugs and kisses from your favourite Auswegians

O O X X